New job balancing act

by Jennifer

So, I've nearly wrapped up week two at the new job. When I wrote about those precious 15 minutes (each way) I'd be adding to my commute, I felt I'd been over thinking and over-analyzing the time creep. I wasn't. It's turned out to be more like 30 minutes--15 for the commute... and I need to be in the office 15-20 minutes earlier than I needed to be at the old job.

First, there's getting out the door. My son isn't much of a TV watcher, but he loves Sesame Street, particularly Elmo's World. Unfortunately, Elmo is on from 7:38am until 7:54 a.m. Oscar reads Slimey the Worm a bedtime story until 7:56 and my son considers this segment part of "watch-un Elmo." Used to be that as soon as Slimey was tucked in, I whisked my little guy into the bathroom to brush his teeth and then to his room to get dressed. As soon as the clothes were on and shoe Velcro was fastened, it was into the stroller and out there door, typically by 8:30am.

Now, we brush teeth immediately after breakfast (OK, not so bad) and I dress my son while he's in his Elmo-watching trance (um, far more comedic). Throw in a dirty diaper and the whole thing goes to ruin. Tick. Tick. Tick. Before the new job, I could sometimes take my son on the morning walk with the dog. If we took an extra five minutes, it was no big deal. There was slack in the morning schedule. Now, even getting up 15-20 minutes earlier (at 6:15am), indulging the little guy in the morning walk means barely making it out the door.

It all feels so rushed. And it doesn't end with the snapping of the stroller straps (hopefully at no later than 8:05am... or getting to work on time is a pipe dream). Every day, I find myself trying to power-walk while pushing a stroller with a 32-lb boy, my work bag and whatever else we need for the day. Up hill. Really. I mean up an actual 1/3-mile hill. Did I mention I do this dressed for work? Once we get up the hill, it's 5 more minutes until we arrive at daycare. Apparently, a lot of people leave for work at this time so the lone elevator at the building that houses our family daycare is terribly busy.

Tick. Tick. Tick. We rush in the door and I've no longer got the five play minutes I used to have to just linger, plop on the floor with my son's favorite toy or simply spend time on an extra long hug. Gotta be out the front door of the building by 8:22am or earlier to have any hope of catching the subway train that comes in time for me to get to my desk by 9:15-ish am (if the trains are running OK).

When I finally get to the train, the platform is packed and so is the train that arrives. I used to get a seat every single day. So far, in 10 days, I've gotten a seat twice. So, I apply my makeup (concealer, powder, blush, mascara, lipstick and sometimes eye shadow) while standing. On a moving train. Yes, it's funny. But so far, I haven't poked out my eye, colored on any other passengers or made much of a mess. I have only smudged my lipstick application once. Of this fact, I feel proud.

Twenty minutes into the train ride, at my old train stop, enough people get off that I generally get a seat (8 days out of ten so far). But it's too late. My feet are sore. I'm trying hard not to feel cranky that the seat I got isn't a coveted end seat, but a middle seat between a heavily-perfumed woman and a man who clearly shops in the big and tall section. At least I'm sitting. Tick. Tick. Tick. Once I arrive at my new stop, 15-minutes later, I'm not there yet. I have a 10-minute fast walk (meaning, I gotta walk fast if I have any hope of not being the last person in my group to arrive... they all live, oh 15-25 minutes away) to the office. I'm exhausted.

The end of the day is easier, except that I can no longer leave twice a week to pick up my son (although I can go one day). It was always my husband's job to do pick-up, but I would pitch in an extra day or two so he could deal with pressing work matters or it he had late meetings. And wouldn't you know it, the next six weeks, my husband has (so far) seven evening events or conference calls that will prevent him from picking up our son. These aren't the kind of things he can skip.

I've come up with a few potential solutions, some simple. A coworker told me about DVR (I know, I live in the dark ages of TV-schedule-bound, commercial-watching) and suggested I DVR Sesame Street and start the Elmo part 10 minutes early, using the episode from the day before. I'm calling the cable company tonight. I now take a night time shower instead of an early morning shower. I put my makeup on during my subway ride instead of at home. I wear socks and sneakers to the office and change my shoes at work most days. I go to bed 30 minutes earlier. I pick out my clothes the night before. We've hired a sitter to pick our son up two nights of the week to relieve some pressure on us (even though one of us will arrive home within 15-30 minutes of the sitter and our son arriving home, that's really an extra 45 minutes leeway for us) and if that doesn't work, our daycare has offered to keep him late for a small fee (wish they'd offered when we told them we were looking into a sitter for this purpose; and yet, there's all the guilt of lengthening his daycare day in the first place).

Even with all of this, I'm exhausted. I feel like I'm screwing up. I'm forgetting stuff I never forgot before--like sending the rent check and calling my friend on her birthday. Frankly, I love this new job already and every day I see clearly how much I'm gonna be able to do here (which makes me love it more). I also see potential for working from home a day a week here and there or even, perhaps, regularly, beginning sometime early next year. So, I realize this is all going to work out, that it takes time to get used to a new situation. But right now, I'm sorry to admit, that I, previously the owner of a Superwoman persona, am struggling.

Do you have any advice to help power me through? What have you done when a work change has thrown your balancing act off--at least temporarily? 

Comments

[Amy]

Give yourself a break. It's only been two weeks. It takes a while to get into a groove after a big change. Having a job you like, and one with the potential to be more flexible later on, is a really big deal. Everything else will fall into place.

Amy
Working Mom to 3
www.sofiabean.com

[mary]

I also do the "tick, tick" daycare/work stopwatch every weekday morning. I thought I was the only one who scrutinized my routine to try and find extra time! All your ideas have also occured to me.
However, now that my son is potty training, all bets are off as to my work arrival time. I keep telling myself this too will pass, and meanwhile I try desperately not to rush my son when he's "doing his business". Did I mention he is a dawdler to the extreme? Lucky for him I am super patient and not a yeller.
I feel for you, and I am right there with you!!!