Work It: a blog for Working Moms

The (Real) To-Do List

By Maria

At night when I crash into bed, I sometimes wonder, "What did I accomplish today?"  To answer this burning question, I kept a list of every single task I did for one day, in the hopes that I would find some comfort in what was achieved.  Here goes:
 
Have morning coffee and 15 minutes of purity before the house wakes up
Sneak in 20-minute workout 
Snuggle with daughter
Give daughter the rundown of what the day holds for her
Play Super Girl and Super Mom (two superheros who defend the house from impending danger with a wooden spoon and whisk)
Protect house from pretend mosquito and monster
Rescue two imaginary friends from pretend burning building
Make breakfast and lunches
Get ready for work
Pick location for planting
Drive to work
Triage emails
Meet with co-worker regarding upcoming events
Eat breakfast
Attend database meeting
Research new learning management system
Participate on conference call
Drive to daughter's school for pick up
Negotiate toddler meltdown

Reschedule play date
Eat lunch
Decide on stones for new walkway and porch stairs
Orchestrate naptime (not mine, unfortunately)
Draft training proposal
Make dinner
Eat dinner
Clean up kitchen
Attend pretend dance show
Prepare for bathtime ritual
Snuggle, read, fall asleep (Courtney, not me)
Collapse into bed
Catch up on the day's events on CNN.
Lights out

Now I know why I am so tired (and grateful) at the end of the day.

What interesting, exciting, and rewarding items are on your real to-do list?  

Blue Stockings

By Maria

When I know I have a busy morning coming up, I start the pre-planning. I prep the lunches the night before, lay out my clothes and my daughter’s clothes. The nighttime ritual is started a tad earlier, the train schedule is printed out, and my subway directions are at the ready.

These are the moments where I think that I am Super Mom! Doing it all! At the height of organization!  Using all my super powers to save the world (or my little corner of it.)

There I am in the morning, dressed, packed, coiffed and ready to take on the day. I even have time to catch my daughter’s latest Fairy Princess Ballet choreography before I am off to the train station.  What could be better?

We all get in the car to take me to the station with time to spare. I buckle up for safety and as I look down to put my keys away…it happens. All the planning and prepping unravels when the realization hits that I am wearing a black skirt with blue stockings.

Now I am fully aware that this is not the end of the world – that there are much larger problems than my fashion faux pas. But at that moment, the lesson for me is that no Super System is perfect and that I really don’t have it all together. So, I can make the choice to beat myself up for not extracting the offending blue stockings from my bureau the first time this happened. Or, I can deal with my blue stockings, and with my imperfect systems...until I get to the city and purchase black ones.

I find that no matter the amount of effort in organizing, creating balance and managing time, there are the inevitable zingers that add glitches and annoyances, but also humor, to the day. The choice is yours as to how you handle your blue stockings day.

What are your blue stockings moments? I would love to hear!

What's working (out) right now

by Maria

For me, exercise isn't about losing those five pounds (although that would be lovely).  It's about taking care of myself both physically and mentally and setting a good example for my daughter.
 
I know that after I am finished exercising I feel wonderful - my mind is clear and I am ready to take on the day.  However, every day, it's the same struggle to fit exercise into an already jam-packed day.  There are a million opportunities for exercise to fall off the schedule.  From making lunches, to laundry, to answering emails...the time and opportunity can slip away.  Here are the strategies that are working for me right now to keep me motivated and focused on my exercise goals:
 
1. Identify time wasters - I have a small window of opportunity in the morning to fit in 20 minutes of exercise. If I turn on my laptop in the morning, game over. It's amazing how I can just click around to find out the latest on this or that, and before you know it 30 minutes have gone by and there goes my window of opportunity. Now, my laptop is contained in a roll-top desk in my dining room. Now that I can't physically see my laptop, I am rarely tempted to turn it on. What a difference that has made!

What are your time wasters?  How can you manage them differently?
 
2. Find your motivation - A colleague of mine has a similar schedule and exercise challenge.  I thought it would be a great idea to enlist her as a workout buddy.  The accountability and motivational benefits would be perfect!  After comparing work-out plans, schedules, and child care arrangements, there wasn't a great time we could take a class or a walk together. One morning, my friend texted me at 6am and asked, "R U pumping it up now?" Apparently she was - and at that moment, I felt like I should be too! After all, I was going to see her when I got to work, and then there was the accountability conversation waiting for me. So, I texted back that I was getting ready to work out and another cheery message arrived on my phone, "U go girlie!" My friend is now my virtual workout partner and it is the next best thing to having an in-person workout buddy.
 
Who can you enlist to hold you accountable for reaching your goals?  What process will you put in place to keep you motivated and accountable?
 
3. Chart your progress - While navigating the ups and downs of potty training with my daughter, I decided to make her a Clean and Dry calendar to document her accomplishments each day. Initially, I made it more for me so I could see how we were doing and track any patterns should they appear. Since that process has been working so well for her, I have done the same for myself as I track my exercise goals so I get a better sense of the data rather than set unrealistic expectations, or, on the other hand, think that I am doing less exercise than I actually am.
 
How will you keep track of your progress?  What rewards will you give yourself for a job well done?

The topic of the day is exercise - but this same process can work for other life goals: earning a promotion, getting organized, or looking for a job.

Try it!

 

'Tis the Season

By Maria

 

This time of year, as the days get shorter and shorter my to-do list gets longer and longer.  When I find myself getting stressed at every little thing that I feel I am not accomplishing, I write what I call my "Annoying List." On it I add everything (big, small, and ridiculous) that is irritating me at the time. Then, I ask myself the following questions:
 

1. On this list, what is out of my control?  Cross it off the list.  Why worry about it if I can't control it?
2. On this list, what is in my control?  Get out the highlighter; mark those items.
3. Of these highlighted items, what is a priority? Number the items.
4. For item #1, when can I take care of this? Repeat until all highlighted items are scheduled.

The final task is to let the annoying feeling go and let the resulting momentary sense of control take over (until the next writing of the Annoying List).
 
How do you manage your to-do list?

 

Ed. Note: Maria is our newest contributor (see, I told you we aren't a Laura-only blog!), she is a personal coach, wife and mom to a daughter. Welcome Maria!

Maria Casey

Maria H. Casey provides personal coaching for women who want to create lives that are successful, productive, balanced and whole.  As a personal coach, she works with clients who seek to develop themselves personally and professionally in order to achieve their version of success.

Maria lives in Port Washington, New York, with her husband and daughter.    

Maria H. Casey, personal coach