Work It: a blog for Working Moms

Calm the storm

By Stephanie G.

Have you ever felt like your mind is in a constant rush?  Being a working mother, this is how I usually feel.  I know I make myself feel this way most of the time.  I am the one to blame.  I feel I am needed at so many different areas: home, work, family.  It's a very uncomfortable feeling.  The other day while on an outing with my sisters and a couple of our screaming kids, I did the unthinkable.  I forgot to get my food after paying for it at a drive thru.  Sadly,  it is not the first time.

O.K. here are the details, first of all, I was with two 3 1/2 year old girls.  Their favorite thing to do in the world is fight with each other about nothing and scream at everything else that happens.  When enclosed in a vehicle, this can be very annoying.  Secondly, the food was not for me.  We had already filled our tummies at Mickey D's.  Therefore, food was not on my mind.  It was for my dear mother, who was taking care of my 6 month old baby.  (Oh, I still feel horrible about it, sorry mom!)

All I can remember is that my daughter and niece were screaming for a drink that was almost finished.  We said we would buy them both a drink each.  I guess this is what was on my mind, calming the girls by buying them two kids drinks.  Well, sure enough, the young lady returned my debit card, gave me those priceless drinks, and there I went, off into the sunset.  The bad part is nobody noticed until for some strange reason, about 25 miles on our way back home, it hit me!!  I didn't get my mom's food!  Oh boy, did we have our laugh, just like the employee's some 25 miles back I'm sure.  Yes, it was funny.  Yes, it was sad.  It was then I decided I can't continue feeling so out of it that I forget what I'm doing!

Any suggestions or similar stories, please tell me I'm not alone!

Potty Training

by Stephanie G.

Potty training my daughter wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. I started when my daughter was nearing 2 years old. I noticed a spot where she would hide to use #2. As soon as I saw her doing so, I would rush her to the potty chair. After a while, I wasn't so enthused about cleaning the whole mess. I decided to buy a child potty seat that fits over the toilet.

After rushing her to the toilet for #2, she caught on quickly. I was so amazed. Now she knew that for #2, we had to rush to the bathroom. I can't tell you how proud and relieved I was, because she caught on within a month or two. During this time, I became pregnant with my son, so for me as long as she took care of the real business on the potty, that was great for me. It was more convenient for me to change her pull-up, then to be rushing her to the potty all the time. Now I feel bad for having prolonged her training.

By the time my son came around, my daughter was about to be three. It was time to finish what I had started. I began one Saturday I knew we would be home all day. In the morning, I took her straight to to potty. But as the day progressed, I began with breakfast, then dishes and I would absolutely forget about having to take her periodically. I know I should have been more focused. But as my regular Sat. routine began, here I would find my little girl at my knees, "Mommy, I'm wet", over and over again. So, I went back to the pull-ups.

After a couple of weeks, I knew I had to go cold turkey. I didn't want to confuse her by putting them on some of the time and not others. So, we dealt with the messes and I tried to stay more focused. Sure enough, she caught on within days, no more pull-ups and no more messes. For nighttime, we go potty before bedtime and first thing in the morning. My husband was amazed that she stays dry through the night. I'm just glad it's finished and done. 

What has worked for you?  I'd love to hear some of your methods.

Mini vacation

By Stephanie G.

This week I had an injury that has forced me to stay home with my kids for a few days. It was a bee sting right on my left hand. I now have one hand that resembles the all famous Hamburger Helper. During our nightly prayer at the dinner table, a bee was apparently hiding underneath the tablecloth. Thankfully, I was the target, since the kids were playing close by. The extra time with the kids has really made me forget my pain in my hand. I really miss just hanging around in our pj's and watching cartoons all day. I love being a kid again with my own children. I could color for hours and love just making a mess while playing on the floor with them.

My eight month old son, Cristian is embarking on the road of curiosity. He's so happy and playful. I sit him on his boppy in our living room let his curiosity run wild. He's such an explorer. I just know crawling is right around the corner for us. He has such a unique personality. He can be so loud and playful at times, then he's so calm and peaceful. Certainly, time is flying by with him. I remember the very day he came home like it was yesterday. 

And then there's Andrea, my three-year old daughter. She had such a vivid imagination. Right now she's into anything princess. She loves to sing and dance to almost anything she hears. She, also, has fun acting silly and making her little brother laugh. She can be such a caring, thoughtful little girl. I remember when I was pregnant and having a very bad, emotional day. All I wanted was a bubble bath to see if I would feel better. Well, she walked into the bathroom and saw me crying.  She immediately was trying to make me feel better. Her words were," wanna play cous cous?  ya gotta find a cous cous," Of coarse, she was talking about Blue's Clues. She's just such a cheerful toddler.   

Spending these few days at home makes me realize how much of a blessing my children are to me. It felt really good to take a break, and be a little child again. I guess it was a break that I really needed. A time of refreshing and renewing, which I think we all could use every once in a while. If it were up to me, I'd do it every few months. But as my wound heals, looks like I'll be back to work tomorrow.

Precious moments

By Stephanie G.

Working for the family business, I have been blessed to be able to bring my children to work with me. It has its share of ups and downs.  For the past three years, my daughter has always been by my side. We played together, worked together, fought together, and did almost everything together. After the birth of my son, he joined us in coming along everywhere we went. At work, it was so much harder for me to concentrate having both of them at my side. My husband and I decided it was best to have someone watch the kids while I worked.

I've never felt so focused at work. I actually get to concentrate and finish my tasks quicker and easier. I am a more efficient worker. But, I must admit, it takes a lot of getting used to, because I have been their primary care-giver since birth. Even though it was not an easy thing to do, they are my children and I love them. I felt it was my duty to always be with them. Before I would never have even thought twice about having another care for my kids. It just wasn't me. At least that's how I felt when it was only me and my daughter. Now with two children, it's more difficult. I admit, I do need help. I'm grateful to have my sister- in-law come to my rescue. I know my children are safe with her and are being cared for. 

Our office has never been so quiet in such a long time. I do miss my son swinging by my side just watching me and my daughter running through the offices screaming. Now I value the time we spend together even more. These are such precious moments.  So even though I do miss them like crazy, I know this is what works best for us for the mean time.

Has anybody ever gone through the same situation, where there's nothing else to do but ask for help?

Am I the only one out here

By Stephanie G.

I'll never forget that day in the doctor's office. "Did you plan on having more children," he asked. My heart sank. I was completely caught off guard. I did want more, I told him, then he suggested surgery instead of a hysterectomy. WOW! I was completely blown away. I cried the entire way home. I kept telling myself how happy my daughter made me, but I always wanted her to have siblings. After the whole ordeal and one year later, here we are with my second child, the cutest little boy I've ever seen.

I wanted another child so badly, but I never imagined I would go through what I went through. He came at 34 weeks and 4 pounds and 11 ounces. Thank God he was healthy, he just wasn't quite ready to take to a bottle yet. It was the most heart-wrenching thing I've ever been through in my life. My heart would break every time I had to leave his side. 

Some days he would do well, others he was just too exhausted. I felt so sad and it was really awkward to see him hooked up to so many monitors. The NICU nurses only added to my problems. They made me feel as if I was the one doing something wrong. All I would hear all day was "hold him like this" or "hold the bottle like that." I can't describe what I was torture I was going through inside. Finally, after what seemed like months, after two weeks we got to bring our precious baby boy home.

For the next couple of months, it was exhausting for me. He wasn't on a set schedule like my daughter.  She would eat every three hours and sleep the rest. She was, and I repeat, was so easy going as a baby.  She would just go with the flow. My son, on the other hand was so different. He was up every two hours, sometimes, every hour and a half.  My heart went out to him.  Who knows how he felt being cared for by so many different faces, plus all the noises he had to put up with all day. I was so moody, restless, and overwhelmed. I would envy the snores of my husband and daughter.  I was certain I was paying for all the bad I had done in my life. It was that bad.

Then I would  feel so guilty. I was begging, pleading for my son to come home, then here I was overwhelmed by the transition. I kept telling myself that it would get better. So, I would just take things day by day. Sure enough, after a couple of months, the nights were so much better. Maybe we were finally getting used to each other. I know it must have been hard on him, also. Now he's a happy, healthy five month old. I look back and thank God for the highs and lows we've made it through. I have my three angels by my side in everything I do and for that I am ever blessed.