Work It: a blog for Working Moms

Morning Madhouse

By Laura H.

 Neither of my children are morning people.  As a matter of fact, no one in our household is. We’re always reaching for that snooze button just one more time, getting up later and later as the week goes on. So, every morning is a real trip. If we’re lucky, we don’t have both kids cranky on the same morning.

Recently, we’ve made some changes to the morning routine that have helped things a bit. Specifically, no child is served breakfast until he/she is dressed. On the old schedule, the kids would eat first, which allowed me to go back and finish getting myself ready while they buried their morning crankiness in yogurt and frozen waffles. Unfortunately, this lead to much difficulty when it was time to leave and they still weren’t dressed.  Now, if we’re running short on time, they have to settle for breakfast at daycare.

 My son has always been the most verbal about his feelings in the morning. (Some of that is age and some is his personality.) “But mommy…I’m tired,” he says to me in his most whiney voice. He drags his way through the house each morning, always sneaking in rest on the nearest couch or bed when I’m not looking. I’ve thought about moving bedtime up, but as it is, they’re getting 10-11 hours of sleep each night. That’s just right for his age. Lately, we’ve been hearing about how “Getting up is boring!”  As funny as it sounds, I do think he’s on to something with this boring business. No matter how slow, uncooperative or tired he is at home in the morning, the minute he gets to daycare he is wound up like someone flipped his switch. If only I could find a way to make the morning routine more interesting!

 What are your secrets for keeping things moving in the mornings?

Five-year-olds see things differently

By Laura H.

Coming home from daycare the other day, I reminded my son of the importance of handwashing. His sister is just over a case of strep and now one of his friends has it too. We talked about germs and how handwashing helps us to stay healthy. Silly me...I thought he might have actually received the take home message of that thought. Apparently I was wrong.

When we got home, he wanted to help me make dinner, so I told him to go wash his hands. With a nice, pleasant "OK mommy!," he was off to wash up. But that was the beginning of the end. After we finished the dinner prep, things went something like this:

Tommy: "Mommy, can I go play until dinner?"
Me:   "Sure, but go wash your hands first."
Tommy:  *sigh* "OK"

Me: "Tommy...dinner's ready. Wash your hands and come eat."
Tommy: "But why mommy? I just washed my hands like 5 minutes ago!"
Me:  "Because we always wash our hands before we eat."

At this point, Tommy stomps off to the bathroom, only to return seconds later with the soap dispenser. Apparently he had an announcement to make.

"Mommy! We have had this soap for a long time. I never ever used so much soap. Washing my hands so much is wasting this soap!"

All I could do at that point was laugh.

Airport Arrival

By Stephanie G.

For a recent visit to New York City, my husband and I decided to leave our kids with my family. I figured it was a busy city with a lot of walking, definitely not a place to bring the kids. Once there, we kept seeing strollers left and right. I felt guilty for leaving them and missed them greatly. I knew Cristian, my 10-month-old, would be fine, but Andrea, my 3-year-old, cried for me most at nighttime. I feel like I've traumatized her. She sees pictures on my computer of us at New York, and cries, "I wanna go to New York City too! And you left me at Kina's!"  Oh, the guilt! So, when my husband told me that we had to fly to Washington, D.C. to pick up our new RV, I knew the kids were coming along no matter what. This meant they would be flying for the first time.

Honestly, it started out like a scene from a movie. We were already late to return our rental car. The ticket line wasn't bad at all, we made it past smoothly. But the luggage check line seemed never ending, it moved so slow. Finally the woman yelling at me, "Next!" There I was with my luggage, my baby and daughter at my side, separated from my husband. I had to load all our bags and remove all of our shoes. My baby was being shuffled here and there, and my daughter was crying because she didn't want to take her shoes off. Then, of course, our bags had to be pulled to the side for an individual check. So, as they searched through my personals, I was trying to get all of our shoes back on while reassuring  them that next time my mascara would be in my zip-loc bag. UGH!!

By this time, our names were actually being called over the intercom. The lady in the golf-cart was yelling at us to hurry and get on. So we jumped on and held on. Thankfully, we made it, though just barely. As we arrived on the plane, everyone was already seated and ready to take off. Of course our seats were at the back of the plane. I think you get the picture. All eyes were on us, some of pity and others of disgust, as we shuffled to the back. Once we were settled, the flight was less dramatic, uneventful really. Though it was hectic, we were all together and it was all worth it

Do you have any vacation mishaps?  Please share your stories.

Ode to Blankie

Oh Blankie, Oh Blankie, once so white and so clean.
A decoration at first, I knew not what you'd mean.
You came from my shower, a gift out of many.
Why this blanket? I asked--it could have been any.

Oh Blankie, my dear, once so soft and so bright.
As companions we've stayed up on so many a' night.
To the child, you're a need, a comfort, a friend.
He was warm and so safe 'til he was well on the mend.

Blankie, Sweet Blankie, no longer perfect or posh.
You spend so much time on the floor and the wash.
Now the world will not know all the things you have seen.
Both the happy and sad and the times in between.

Now many have asked, when will I send you away?
The truth, little one, is I beg you to stay.
I fear the day when he leaves you behind.
I will keep you always in my heart and my mind.

It's a wonder to think that it might have been naught.
Just a blanket or rag--packed away as I ought.
But you rose to much more, can't you tell, don't you see?
You are quite simply, true family.

Calm the storm

By Stephanie G.

Have you ever felt like your mind is in a constant rush?  Being a working mother, this is how I usually feel.  I know I make myself feel this way most of the time.  I am the one to blame.  I feel I am needed at so many different areas: home, work, family.  It's a very uncomfortable feeling.  The other day while on an outing with my sisters and a couple of our screaming kids, I did the unthinkable.  I forgot to get my food after paying for it at a drive thru.  Sadly,  it is not the first time.

O.K. here are the details, first of all, I was with two 3 1/2 year old girls.  Their favorite thing to do in the world is fight with each other about nothing and scream at everything else that happens.  When enclosed in a vehicle, this can be very annoying.  Secondly, the food was not for me.  We had already filled our tummies at Mickey D's.  Therefore, food was not on my mind.  It was for my dear mother, who was taking care of my 6 month old baby.  (Oh, I still feel horrible about it, sorry mom!)

All I can remember is that my daughter and niece were screaming for a drink that was almost finished.  We said we would buy them both a drink each.  I guess this is what was on my mind, calming the girls by buying them two kids drinks.  Well, sure enough, the young lady returned my debit card, gave me those priceless drinks, and there I went, off into the sunset.  The bad part is nobody noticed until for some strange reason, about 25 miles on our way back home, it hit me!!  I didn't get my mom's food!  Oh boy, did we have our laugh, just like the employee's some 25 miles back I'm sure.  Yes, it was funny.  Yes, it was sad.  It was then I decided I can't continue feeling so out of it that I forget what I'm doing!

Any suggestions or similar stories, please tell me I'm not alone!

Important Lessons

by Vanessa

Ok, so one of the biggest struggles of a working mom is how to balace work life and home life. You want to be the best you can be in your career, and then switch to being the best mom you can be. It's not easy, but I've learned two very important lessons:
1) You can't expect everything to go as planned
2) Roll with the punches

Once you got that all figured out, it all becomes a lesson in time management. Modern technology is great, but I find that writing down all appointments/activities/errands in one master calendar (I keep on my desk), I can plan my time accordingly. This means, planning every day, from when to grocery shop to hair appointments. BUT, if you refer to lesson #1, you must remember to be flexible.

As I was preparing to defrost dinner, I realized we didn't have what we had planned on eating. Of course! So, I refer again to lesson #1 and find something else. Pork chops in the oven (shake n' baked with some sort of seasoning). As those baked in the oven I made onion rings in the toaster oven and mashed potatoes in the microwave. Dinner was ready in 25 minutes -- I really can give Rachael Ray a run for her money-- and I have modern conveniences to thank.

What would we do without microwaves and such? Well, back in those days, women didn't work.

Today's blog is tributed to: Dr. Percy Spencer - inventor of the microwave

Calmly waiting

by Joy

In two weeks, I am due to have my third child and so far, I am the calmest I have ever been in my history of being pregnant. I thought I would be more panicked than I am, but here I am surprising myself by being rational, calm and incredibly excited. I have purchased all the necessities for the baby, and I do mean necessities, not the entire baby store as I initially did when I had my daughter seven years ago. I have done all the preliminaries – washed the baby clothes, set up the cradle, and even made space in my cabinets for the baby bottles. 

Every time I turn around, I have “well-meaning” people tell me about the horror of having three children.  Based on what I have heard – utter household chaos! Loss of my mind and sense of well-being! Certain bankruptcy! - I should be running screaming for the hills, yet here I am sitting calmly, albeit uncomfortably just waiting to meet my new son. I am actually excited about having my third child. I cannot wait to see those little fingers and toes. Experience the first smile, first giggle, word, step, first everything all over again. I am looking forward to relishing and cherishing all those moments I enjoyed with my daughter and son, somehow this time I know that I am going to savor these moments even more. Perhaps because I am a little older and realize just how precious these moments are. Maybe it is because I am going through other changes in life – starting graduate school to change careers and leaving full-time work behind – I am not sure.

Maybe panic may never come. With three children, husband, school and a household to take care of, there may not be room for panic. The well wishers may be right, exhaustion, exasperation, and exhuberation may take up too much room. In any event, I know that in about 2-3 weeks, my world is going to change yet again and I cannot wait!

Kindergarten, Here we come!

by JenMarie

In a few short weeks we’ll begin the process of kindergarten registration for my oldest.  I can hardly believe she is even old enough to be ready for school!  I am so very excited for her, what a wonderful adventure she is about to embark on.  We’ve been working very hard at home and at preschool to be sure she is ready, from learning her address and phone number to learning to get along with everyone. 

With three kids currently under five, my biggest concern now is making sure everyone is picked up by six o-clock at night.  Drop off and pick up times can vary as long as they are within the allotted time frame, which is fabulous since I am often running behind.  I am also fortunate that both the daycare and preschool provide all meals so I am not packing lunches/snacks either. 

Once school starts we’ll have buses to catch, breakfast to cook and lunches to make.  Not to mention school related activities and a new schedule to work out.  I know that I need to come up with a plan or chaos will be the order of the day.  From what I’ve been able to gather so far, it seems like the biggest recommendation is to do as much as possible the night before.  I would like to have Sydney be more responsible for getting herself (somewhat) ready but I do not want to have unrealistic expectations.   

I would love to hear how others do it, in particular anyone who has one (or more) in school and others still in daycare/preschool. 

What tips do you have to help avoid the morning crunch? 

Post Vacation Blues

by Amy W.

It happens every time. We go away for a weeks vacation, and we come back to our regularly scheduled life, and it just is not the same for the first couple of weeks.

 

First, it is getting back into work. I spent the first day back from vacation sorting through over a hundred emails at work. The second day, I still was not in the mood for work, but at some point I had to get focused and get back on track.

And after eating out for a week, coming home and actually cooking dinner just does not sound like my idea of fun. I rather liked having my meals delivered to me, warm and delicious.

 

And it was not any easier for the kids. My youngest is having a hard time with drop off at daycare in the mornings. She normally goes right in and waves bye to her Dad, and that is it. She has been crying and holding on to her Dad like she had never done before.

 

And I understand. It was a week where it was just us, being a family and enjoying time together. There was no separations, no classes to go to.

 

I know this will all pass, but what can we do to make the transition from vacation back to routine easier?

How to do No. 2 (baby, that is)?

by Jennifer

It seems like so many women I know are having child No. 2 (or in the case of two cousins, No. 3 and No. 4), "perfectly" spaced 2-to-2.5 years apart. Everywhere I go, I see a toddler strapped in a stroller pushed by a mom with a cooing newborn strapped in a sling or Baby Bjorn. My son will turn 2 in early October and we've long said that our kids would (hopefully) be spaced 3-to-4 years apart.

Actually, this was my decree. Being a full-time worker with a full-time worker husband, juggling what we already have on our plate seems like almost as much as we can handle. Then, of course, there are the financial obligations. A second child means two daycare bills to pay every week. And then...the dreaded two-in-diapers household. To me, it seemed that I'd be more sane if we had a second child when my first is closer to 4-years-old because he'll be potty-trained, more independent (and, admittedly, interested in and able to help. As in, grab mommy a paper towel as unbelievable amounts of spit-up spew from baby's mouth) and in free pre-k (daycare costs go down). I also thought by then I might be able to negotiate a few afternoons of work-at-home to make the end-of-day daycare pick-up easier.

Seems like I thought of just about everything. Except I didn't think I'd ever wonder if I even wanted baby No. 2. Let me clarify. I want another child in that maternal, family-oriented, instinctual way. But both emotionally and rationally, I'm having trouble with the idea. Maybe I will get that work-from-home deal two afternoons a week, but it's likely I will ALWAYS work full-time (plus). I feel like the amount of quality time I get to spend with the one child I do have is barely enough. To split that time between two children seems horribly unfair and conjures up the sort of guilt I feel I've mostly avoided so far. And I've pretty much cut out 90% of the me time I ever had. To cut out that quarterly pedicure and rare morning shopping with a friend would be bad for everyone in my family.

Then there's my husband. He's doing better since starting medication for his ADD (something I wrote about in previous posts), but I wonder if a second child would throw his balance too far off. I'm not okay with that. Then there are the logistics. How do I get my son to pre-k in one place (and later, kindergarten) and the baby to daycare in another in a timely manner without starting our mornings even earlier or being constantly late to the office? I treasure my mornings with my son: we eat together, read a book or two, play the get-dressed-brush-teeth game, watch and learn with Elmo and cuddle up for extra hugs. Rushing through through that or cutting it short to get to school and day care and work on time seems unfair, to me.

I could probably hire a teenager or regular sitter to pick up one or the other or both children and bring them home, giving me/my husband an extra 30 minutes to get home each night, but--maybe I am just stubborn--I want one of us to be there at the end of the day. The excited look and the cheers of "Mommy! Mommy!" or "Daddy!Daddy!" make my day.

I've always wanted more than one child, as long as I can remember. I still do, particularly when I see the moms in my neighborhood (many of whom do not work outside the home or work very part-time). But I'm always gonna work and always gonna have a career. The two seem to be at odds and lately, it feels like there's a growing gap between wanting another child and feeling like it could ever be manageable. 

For those of you in the same situation--but with more than one child--did you ever feel this way?  What happened when you added No. 2 and how have you made it work. What have you compromised, changed or just accepted?