Work It: a blog for Working Moms

Potty Training

by Stephanie G.

Potty training my daughter wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. I started when my daughter was nearing 2 years old. I noticed a spot where she would hide to use #2. As soon as I saw her doing so, I would rush her to the potty chair. After a while, I wasn't so enthused about cleaning the whole mess. I decided to buy a child potty seat that fits over the toilet.

After rushing her to the toilet for #2, she caught on quickly. I was so amazed. Now she knew that for #2, we had to rush to the bathroom. I can't tell you how proud and relieved I was, because she caught on within a month or two. During this time, I became pregnant with my son, so for me as long as she took care of the real business on the potty, that was great for me. It was more convenient for me to change her pull-up, then to be rushing her to the potty all the time. Now I feel bad for having prolonged her training.

By the time my son came around, my daughter was about to be three. It was time to finish what I had started. I began one Saturday I knew we would be home all day. In the morning, I took her straight to to potty. But as the day progressed, I began with breakfast, then dishes and I would absolutely forget about having to take her periodically. I know I should have been more focused. But as my regular Sat. routine began, here I would find my little girl at my knees, "Mommy, I'm wet", over and over again. So, I went back to the pull-ups.

After a couple of weeks, I knew I had to go cold turkey. I didn't want to confuse her by putting them on some of the time and not others. So, we dealt with the messes and I tried to stay more focused. Sure enough, she caught on within days, no more pull-ups and no more messes. For nighttime, we go potty before bedtime and first thing in the morning. My husband was amazed that she stays dry through the night. I'm just glad it's finished and done. 

What has worked for you?  I'd love to hear some of your methods.

Mini vacation

By Stephanie G.

This week I had an injury that has forced me to stay home with my kids for a few days. It was a bee sting right on my left hand. I now have one hand that resembles the all famous Hamburger Helper. During our nightly prayer at the dinner table, a bee was apparently hiding underneath the tablecloth. Thankfully, I was the target, since the kids were playing close by. The extra time with the kids has really made me forget my pain in my hand. I really miss just hanging around in our pj's and watching cartoons all day. I love being a kid again with my own children. I could color for hours and love just making a mess while playing on the floor with them.

My eight month old son, Cristian is embarking on the road of curiosity. He's so happy and playful. I sit him on his boppy in our living room let his curiosity run wild. He's such an explorer. I just know crawling is right around the corner for us. He has such a unique personality. He can be so loud and playful at times, then he's so calm and peaceful. Certainly, time is flying by with him. I remember the very day he came home like it was yesterday. 

And then there's Andrea, my three-year old daughter. She had such a vivid imagination. Right now she's into anything princess. She loves to sing and dance to almost anything she hears. She, also, has fun acting silly and making her little brother laugh. She can be such a caring, thoughtful little girl. I remember when I was pregnant and having a very bad, emotional day. All I wanted was a bubble bath to see if I would feel better. Well, she walked into the bathroom and saw me crying.  She immediately was trying to make me feel better. Her words were," wanna play cous cous?  ya gotta find a cous cous," Of coarse, she was talking about Blue's Clues. She's just such a cheerful toddler.   

Spending these few days at home makes me realize how much of a blessing my children are to me. It felt really good to take a break, and be a little child again. I guess it was a break that I really needed. A time of refreshing and renewing, which I think we all could use every once in a while. If it were up to me, I'd do it every few months. But as my wound heals, looks like I'll be back to work tomorrow.

Pacifier Princess

By Laura H.

A couple of weeks ago, my daughter had her first dental check up. I am pleased to report that everything went smoothly. Yes, she's cavity free and I'm very happy about that. But, more importantly, she was very well behaved. There was no screaming, no tantrums, and no tears. For Anna, that's a big deal. She definitely earned her Tinkerbell sticker.

Now comes the tough part. In just 3 short months, my little girl will turn 3. I've been saying for months that I would like to have her weaned off her pacifier by her third birthday. With the dentist in agreement, it's time to get to work. I have been dreading this for a while now. Occasionally, we'll forget to give her the "mimi" at bedtime, only to hear the dreaded "I WANT MY MIMI!" a few minutes later. I'm reasonably sure that trying to reason with her won't work. The dentist suggested poking tiny holes in them, which would deflate them and, in theory, lead her to believe that they're broken. I guess after that, she's just supposed to lose interest. There are a few potential problems with this approach. The first problem is that my Anna would probably demand that I go to the store and buy her more. (Recall from a previous post that she's my strong willed child.) The second problem is that I have some sanitary and safety concerns about the little holes.  So now what's a mommy to do?

Have you ever heard of the Pacifier Princess?
When I mentioned my dilema to one of the teachers at our daycare, she told me about the Pacifier Princess. I loved this idea from the moment I heard it. The Pacifier Princess is kind of like the Tooth Fairy. Explain to your child that the Pacifier Princess takes all the pacifiers from the big kids who don't need them anymore, and passes them on to little babies. Then, have your child help you collect all the pacifiers and place them in a pretty little bag. Hang the bag outside in a tree before bed one night.  While the child is sleeping, the Pacifier Princess comes to collect the pacifiers. As a reward for their good deed, the Pacifier Princess leaves a small treat in the bag.

Sounds like a cute idea to me, but I'd love to hear from other moms who have survived the pacifier weaning.

I Can't Handle When My Kids Get Hurt

by Amy W.

On January 3rd, we thought our almost two year old was asleep in her crib. I had left her almost 30 minutes prior, and she is normally a kid who goes to sleep right away. My husband and I were shocked when we heard a crash and subsequent screaming that Audrey had climbed out of her crib.

All attempts of calming her down were futile, and when we tried to get her to hold on to her "security blanket", her sippy cup, we knew something was up. She would not use her left arm.

The decision was quickly made to go to the ER. The next decision was also made quickly; who was going to take her. Someone needed to stay home with our four year old who was already in bed. And I don't do being hurt, to include taking children to the ER.

I know at some point in my life, I may be alone with the kids and someone might get hurt and I might be the one to make the trip, but for now, my husband does it. When the kids fall, he checks them out. When Audrey had a staple in her mouth a few months ago, Ray removed it.

I know, I should be strong and hold it together, but I just can't. I can't stand for them to be hurt, and I am afraid that my emotions would get in the way and only worsen the situation.

I did make it with Audrey to the Orthopaedic doctor the next day for her cast. For some reason, that I could handle.

A Long, Strange Trip to the Potty

By Coletta

I wrote the following entry in May of this year and planned to post this when my son was potty-trained.  It is now November and this is the first week my son is wearing underwear during the day. Morgan has had several major transitions in his little life since I wrote this, including a new daycare provider and new pre-school. But I stuck to my personal goal—which was not to be stressed about potty training so as not to evoke stress in my son. Using a sticker chart with specific dates and specific rewards for milestones has worked for me---as well as throwing out the Pull-Ups and sending clear messages to my son by using only underwear or diapers. Morgan turns 3 next week and I am so very proud and a little relieved that he is almost potty trained! Now I just have to get him to wear underpants at night and get the little green potty out of my living room.

May 8, 2007
9:30 am: I am so nervous about potty training my son—I’m afraid I’ll push too hard and he’ll completely reject all social graces until he’s in his thirties, or I won’t push hard enough and he’ll still be in pull-ups at his Bar Mitzvah.

12:00 pm:  I am driving back to work from the mall, I have purchased poster board, stickers, 2 potty books for my son and 1 for me. I am still very nervous—I’m sure this is the final test that weeds out the real parents from the fake ones (like Biology 101 in college).

12:15 pm: I have skimmed Potty Training for Dummies and they recommend I begin Potty training over a weekend…maybe I should scrap this and wait until next weekend.

4 pm: I pick up son Morgan from daycare and the provider tells me that her 4-year-old granddaughter ordered my son to wear big-boy underwear and stop using diapers and he did it for 2 hours!  Peer-pressure rocks!

4:15 pm:  I put my son on the potty and give him plastic animals in bowl of warm water to play with.

4:45 pm My son is still on the toilet and still no pee from son—I have had to go 2 times so far.

4:46 pm: Release son from potty. He plays. I feel disappointed that there is no pee—but proud of myself for being nonchalant and praising him for his performance.

6:30 pm:  My son wants to play with the animals in the bathroom, I tell him he has to sit on the potty to play—he sits happily and then, after a few minutes he pees! Yay! Wait—now he wants to stay and play in the bathroom.  I distract him with other toys, stickers and books.

8:30 pm: I ask Morgan to sit on the potty one more time before bed. I tell him he can have an animal sticker if he goes. He really wants a sticker—he goes right away. I’m so happy. I’m so relieved.

9:45 pm:  I tell my husband about my stress and concerns. He is sympathetic, but also rolls his eyes a little at my stress. I am starting to feel like this potty training thing is do-able, someday I will have a diaper-free house. Then my husband informs me that his family has a history of school-age bedwetting.  Damn.

Tantrums and the Terrible 2's

By Laura H.

Call me naive, but I thought that I'd have this thing in the bag, seeing as how I've tackled the terrible 2’s before. Lately, my daughter has shown me that I am terribly mistaken. Anna is my 28 -month-old princess. She weighs a mere 23 pounds. She's cute. She's portable. But if you cross her...LOOK OUT! She comes at life's challenges with an unbelievable amount of spunk. Anna has taught me what a tantrum is. She pulls out all the stops - screaming, crying, hitting, kicking, throwing. Her older brother Tommy didn’t do tantrums, so this is all new to me!

There’s rarely any warning that Anna is about to blow. If she’s not happy with something, she begins by expressing her disapproval in the most shrill screechy voice, at the highest volume she can muster. I have tried the classic distract and divert approach, but that usually doesn’t work with Anna. She holds a little toddler grudge no matter where I choose to point her. When I show resistance to her wishes, she only becomes more agitated. To make matters worse, Tommy gives her what she wants! No, he doesn’t always want to, but he certainly wants her to be quiet.

One morning, we had a major drama scene at daycare. I was filling out some paperwork and Anna was beside me scribbling on that very paperwork, when our daycare provider suggested that Anna cease with the scribbling in give up her pen. There was a brief moment of silence followed by this sudden outburst of tears. I scurried to finish up the paperwork and tend to my clearly distraught princess. When I came to her aid I tried to talk to her, tried to get her interested in playing, but she wanted nothing to do with that. And then it happened, she SMACKED me! I promptly put her on time-out, where she sobbed as if she was the one who had been violated. After her time-out, the drama continued.

This was undoubtedly my breaking point. I was on a mission. Off I went at lunch to the local bookstore, flipping through a stack of parenting books, but came up empty-handed. Sure, some offered helpful tidbits, but I still have not found just the right book.

Do/did you have a spirited toddler? How do YOU deal with major tantrums?

The Cake-tastrophe!

By JenMarie
As my son’s second birthday approached we decided on an Elmo theme, he is a big fan of Sesame Street. We picked out cute invitations and I searched EBay for an Elmo cake pan and party accessories.  After a week or so of looking I finally decided on a Wilton brand Elmo face cake pan.
Since the pan holds only a single cake mix, I decided to also bake some cupcakes and I picked up some Elmo cupcake liners too. I was quite proud of my frugal find, total cost $10. The cake pan arrived without incident and the instructions looked easy enough. As I’ve mentioned before, I love to decorate cakes so I was excited to try something new this year.
The party was 2:00 on Saturday so I waited until Friday to make the cake. I spent most of the day working on the cake and cupcakes for the party. I was really impressed with how cute the cake came out and couldn’t wait for Jack to get home that evening to see it. I carefully placed the cake in the cake box and put it in a cool location.
When they got home, I showed the cake to Jack and big sister Sydney both loved it, although Jack was more interested in eating a cupcake! I left the cake out while I made dinner, bathed the kids and got them ready for bed. Once finished, I took one last look at the cake before putting it away. Instead of a perfectly decorated Elmo, I found little finger marks in the smile, nose and eyes of Elmo! Apparently Sydney decided she should test it out and took her own little sample!
I was quite upset and brought her down to explain how impolite it was to do that to brother’s cake and how bad she would feel if that was her cake. I think she got the point, she looked remorseful and did apologize.
Luckily, we were able to repair the cake, close to its original design—it really wasn’t that bad, just over such a large area of the cake. Once we made our repairs, I put the cake away in the box.
Around noon on Saturday, we left my stepdad at the house with the kids and my husband and I ventured out to pick up balloons and pizza. Before leaving, I made sure everything was ready to go—plates, cups, party food and I put the cake/cupcakes out on the dining room table to warm up.

Check, Please!

Recently, my husband made reservations at a new local Italian restaurant. The small restaurant is located in a strip mall, in the quiet business district of town. The restaurant boasts a phenomenal wine list and good food, the price list for the menu was moderate to low. He made the reservation for three - himself, our 2 1/2 yr old son and me.

When we arrived the host/owner was shared his surprise that we made a reservation for three people as opposed to "two adults and one child." Then he told us that if we told him over the phone that we were bringing a child, he could make special arrangements for us. We waited for 10 additional minutes in the tiny lobby with our hungry child while they made their special arrangements, which consisted of waiting for another family to leave and preparing their corner table far away from all of the other tables. As I looked around the restaurant I saw that there were plenty of tables open, just like the table we sat at...but sitting at any other table would have integrated us in with the other childfree tables.

During our wait in the lobby, a man without a reservation arrived and inquired about the wait. The host/owner asked, "How many people in your party?"
"Four," the man responded. 
"All adults?" the host asked.
"Two adults and two children," he responded.
"What are their ages?" the host asked. "Nine and eleven", the customer responded.
"Let me see..." said the host.  Five minutes later with no response, the customer asked again when they would be seated and the host told him it would be fifteen minutes before he would KNOW whether or not he could seat them. The man left.

After we were seated, we ordered and the waiter brought my son juice in a highball glass with no top or straw. At this point my nervousness about bringing my child was peaking. Luckily we had been at Temple earlier in the day and we were dressed nicely and my son was very interested in the small toys he brought with him to dinner so he was relatively quiet and well-behaved.

Pariah of the Playgroup!

by Cindy

We all know, of or have been victims of, the playgroup disease trackers.

If you have not heard of this new phenomenon (new to me, anyway), let me fill you in. Let's say Johnny and Susie and Dominic are playing together, and the next day Dominic develops a runny nose. Well, since Dominic's house is antiseptically cleaned on a 4-hour rotation 6 times a day, and they only consume probiotic foods, those pesky germs could not have spawned from their house. So, Dom's clever mommy breaks into CSI: Cold and Virus.

Susie did look a little too pale, and Johnny, well they have pets, and it is well known that domesticated and vaccinated cats and dogs can bring the world to a screeching halt! Think Salem Witch trials, but in your neighborhood, and the "witch" in this case is the cold-carrying child. I am happy to report (being a teacher and parent) that I realized from early on that germs, colds, bugs happen - that's life.

I have not tracked down the fire starter child, who spread the herpes zoster virus (chicken pox) around like salt on an iced sidewalk, or chicken feed in the middle of a pack of starving hens. Instead, I accept that this is how viruses live and mutate, and this is indeed part of life and childhood. I reinforce hand washing, the use of tissues instead of sleeves, and remind the girls to not share hairbrushes,tooth brushes or chewing gum. I refuse to be a disease tracker, a member of the CSI Special Victims Unit that tracks throat infections, stomach bugs and mild fever. I try to remember that all of us mothers are doing the best we can. Slowly infecting the playgroups one child at a time.

In the News: Baby DVDs

by Amy W.

When my oldest was an infant, we received the whole collection of the Baby Einstein DVDs as a present. I thought, great, educational and set to really cool music (in my classical music mind).

Ashley watched one of those DVDs, Baby Bethoveen, every evening for about six months. It was the only way my husband and I could have 20 minutes to eat our dinner. Once Ashley started joining us at the table, we stopped watching them.

Every once in a while now Ashley will pick out one of those DVDs in the van to watch to appease her younger sister who doesn't quite get the endless episodes of the Backyardigans. And I always think in the back of my mind, at least it is educational.

Well, now the latest report in the Journal of Pediatrics is that these baby DVDs actual do more harm than good. And honestly, is this going to stop me from putting the videos in the DVD player? Probably not, although I no longer have an infant, I have a toddler and a preschooler, but still. I think the music is great, the images have my toddler yelling out "Moo" or "Bark" when she sees a dog or a cow on the screen.

We all know TV is bad, we hear it on the news all the time. Restrict TV watching in your children, and your child will grow up to be the next president. I think in moderation, TV can spark imagination. And at this point, when Ashley has a question about something that has happened in an episode of her favorite episode of Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, it sparks learning as well.

In my analytical mind, I am wondering about the 1,000 babies studied in this study. How much did the parents talk to them? How much interaction with older siblings did they get? How many books were read to them on a daily basis? These might not add up to much, but I think variations in these variables would definitely produce differing results.

I don't think this report will slow down the sales of Baby Einstein videos, what do you think? How do you handle television time in your house?