Work It: a blog for Working Moms

Working moms in the news: The feminists made us do it

In the July/August edition of theAtlantic.com Sandra Tsing Loh writes about...well about choosing your choice.

I was laid off last September - my third layoff since May 2003 - I decided to stop forcing the issue already. My "career" didn't mean much to me anymore. I was regularly dealing with idiocy. Plus my area of expertise - niche technology marketing - is flush with people I don't like. I decided to try cobbling together some freelance work from home. It's going well, but not great enough to pay for full-time daycare. So I also spend 70 hours of bad to great quality time with my girls, while working in yoga pants and t-shirts.

I went from decent salary with huge chunk going to daycare (two kids in daycare = 2nd mortgage payment) to teenier salary all coming to me. And the gas price rise is not taking a bite either as the girls and I can walk everywhere but the grocery store. Admittedly I am looking for part-time work, an attempt at regularly scheduled money. With caveats though  - this PT job must be within walking distance of my home, because if I never have to commute again it will be too soon.

My take on our post-feminist (post-post feminist?) generation is that we get to choose our choice.I get to be picky about the location of my job because this is the era where I can/should have a job but also is an era (or should be) when I don't feel like I have to be working 9-5 with commute just to prove that whatever boys can do, girls can do better. Luckily we have a generation of men who understand - whether by experience with their own working mother or by wet noodle lashings by us - that despite our telecommute, freelancing or traditional 9 to 5 commute there will not be a martini waiting upon arrival home nor will there be a roast at 7:00 (unless someone remembered to put one in the slow cooker this morning).

So the feminists that came before me fought the good fight. And maybe women like Friedan and Steinam wouldn't be thrilled by my choice. Still I thank them for paving the inroads that allow me a choice at all.

Working moms in the news: "Less salary for more time with kids"

By Laura

As picked up in many places, a Careerbuilder.com survey released in May found over 40 percent of working mothers would take a pay cut if it meant more time with their kids. Among respondents 34 percent said they'd give up at least 10 percent of their salary for less time on the job.

"While moms strive to keep a healthy balance between their professional and personal lives, lack of time with their children still seems to be an issue. More than a third (34 percent) of working moms said they spend less than three hours per day with their children. Seventeen percent reported they had missed three or more significant events in their child’s life in the last year. Twenty-seven percent had missed two or more."

Ouch. That last one hurts. Yes?

Since I've been a work-from-home-mom for six months, this is no longer my problem (I'm considering sending both to full-time day camp this summer.) What about you? Are you missing events?

Is the difference between wanting to see your kids more/taking a pay cut and surviving $4 gas and $4 milk/after a pay cut too great a chasm?

Working moms in the news: "Career or Family? Yes."

From a washingtonpost.com article - a very interesting look at an industry of work-life gurus assisting working moms meet the increased demands and find balance:

"While parents everywhere struggle to meet the competing demands of work and family, for mothers who are highly educated and established in their careers, there is a growing cottage industry of workshops, recruiting firms, job boards, coaches and consultants. Many of these firms also work with men and older employees -- Fruehwirth has a client who is a stay-at-home dad planning to go back to work soon -- but the greatest demand has been from working mothers.

These work-life gurus pitch themselves as the business solution to the "opt-out revolution" of stay-at-home mothers and promote the view that the choice between working and staying home is neither stark nor a once-in-a-lifetime decision.

Economist Sylvia Ann Hewlett found that more than a third of professional women take a brief hiatus from the workforce -- an average of two years. Another third take what she calls "the scenic route," some combination of flex time and reduced hours, while their children are small.

More women would work part time if they could. A 2007 Pew Research Center report found that 60 percent of working mothers across all income and education levels said they would be happiest working part time, a jump of 12 percentage points since 1997. However, only 24 percent actually had part-time hours.

For professional women, many of whom have invested hundreds of thousands of dollars in their training and established careers before starting a family, part of the problem rests with the nature of most part-time work."

Working moms in the news: "Great Friends: until they had kids"

From ChicagoBusiness.com - reporter Shia Kapos investigates friendships between moms that go south after one decides to head back to work. One mom reports about her friend:

"She couldn't imagine leaving her child (in day care) and would ask, how I could do that," says Ms. Salo, 43. "She was almost questioning my moral character."

Very interesting reading for those of us to do feel somewhat out-of-the-loop or altogether judged by those non-working moms around us. Another mom laments that perhaps she was just too quick to feel judged after looking back on the child-raising years.

How have your friendships with non-working mom friends stood the test of time? Do you sometimes feel judged or find yourself judging - or yes, jealous - about those friends who have the other full-time job: motherhood?

Heard around the blogosphere

by Amy S.

Just a couple of interesting things I've seen recently online:

Let's Kill Bad PowerPoint Presentations:
Can I get an "AMEN!" I like checking in on the Monster Blog for this very type of post - current and usable details for the workplace. I work in the land of PowerPoint Presentations are Cool and this article should be a must-read for anyone still suffering through or creating over-the-top presentations.

Work at home + High-Pressure Career:
Time's Lisa Takeuchi Cullen writes about a married couple who are combating - succesfully - the pressures of a duel-high-pressure-career family life by working at home. My favorite quote, "And more and more of us—childed and childless alike—are realizing that quality of life is greatly enhanced by losing the 9-to-5 office shackles."

Moms in the News

Interesting "Moms in the News" headlines of late:

• Ohio moms may get 12-week leave
  All working mothers statewide soon might be guaranteed at least 12 weeks off work after childbirth without fear of losing their job.
• Take our mommy guilt, please:
  Outside job or not, moms share inner-debate over life choices.

Families in the News: "How Much Scheduling is Overscheduling?"

by Amy S.

Rebeldad Brian Reid recently guest hosted Leslie Morgan Steiner's "On Balance" column at the Washington Post.com. His subject? Overscheduling. The surprise twist? His take that overscheduling isn't necessarily a bad thing. The older my daughter gets, the more opportunity we have to overschedule as a family. And there's an added level of anxiety when both parents work and the children are in before-and-after school care.

Reid says he remembers being very active as a child - lots of sports, etc. and that it has come in handy in his adult life. But he also says he remembers having lots of free time. Do today's children have free time "scheduled" in between their other activities? Is it enough? Or is it healthy to be an overscheduled family? I know a few people who prefer it that way - they say keeping kids busy is one way to keep them out of trouble.

How do you handle balancing the family schedule?

Moms in the news: "Breast warmers, tamarind, and the lunar eclipse: Insights from moms around the world"

Just in time for Mother's Day, BabyCenter.com takes a look at motherhood around the globe:

"What, exactly, are breast warmers — and why are they popular with nursing mothers in Sweden? Why are antiradiation vests a must-have for many pregnant women in China? Is it true that expectant moms in Cuba are afraid to let anyone touch their pregnant belly? In celebration of Mother's Day, we asked the editors of BabyCenter's 11 international websites (all mothers themselves) to answer these and other fascinating questions about motherhood around the globe."

Who knew that the age-old potty training issue is an issue all over the globe. Some countries begin "training" at six months - and in England, it's brewed up what is described as a "generational clash."

Parenting in the news: "Are we raising a nation of little egomaniacs?"

MSNBC contributor Victoria Clayton reports on the debate about praising this generation of children. Is it too much? Not enough?

Yes, we're a little skeptical after all the so-called studies we've noted lately that really don't provide much in-depth analysis. This notion was fueled recently by Jean Twenge, a San Diego State University psychologist, and colleagues who released the results of a study that "concluded college kids today are 30 percent more narcissistic than they were in 1982."

The flip side, from the next paragraph of this story, no less:

"Many psychologists and other child-health specialists, though, aren't buying the assertion that some coddling turns kids into little monsters." 

Read it for yourself and let us know what you think.

Working moms in the news: "Companies working to get mothers back on the job"

This falls under the "It's About Time" headline! This is fantastic news for working moms - and for those working moms who want the option of taking extended time away while their children are young. This article focuses on companies who are looking for creative and flexible ways to recruit and retain women, particularly those who choose to take an extended leave to be with their children.

From the StarNewsOnline.com:

We've all seen them disappear from desks around us. But now some companies, mostly large, influential ones, have begun to replace informal arrangements to get women back at work after having a child with written policies and systems...

PriceWaterhouseCoopers now offers a Full Circle program, offering women up to five years of leave - without pay or health benefits. The company pays for training or certifications to keep the women on top of their field, invites them to company events and gives them a mentor who will keep them clued in to happenings at the accounting firm. Since its start in July, 16 women have been approved. Allyn expects to have 25 to 30 enrolled by the program's one-year anniversary.

"There's a feeling among companies that there is a huge investment they make of their top talent. And they've all experienced women - and men - leaving who they didn't want to leave," says Ellen Galinsky, president of the Families and Work Institute.

These creative solutions may just be the answer for those women who are leaving the workforce not because they want to, but because it doesn't provide the flexibility they need.